It's happening. His flaws are rising to the surface and he's becoming more and more imperfect. Ugly warts that suddenly appear all over his face...filled with white puss. He's patronising, arrogant, manipulative, dishonest, ignorant, selfish and more... And all of a sudden, these aren't flaws I can love anymore. I'm disgusted and my love is becoming conditional... and if it's conditional, it might as well be non-existent.
I'm falling out of love with him and I'm so terrified... Clinging to feeling something over nothing. I never wanted to stop loving him. What will I do without an obsession? without someone to love obsessively and incessantly? What will I do with all the time I'll have left? What will make my conversations interesting and heartfelt (literally felt-by-hearts) without all the drama of him? What will be on this blog? Filling up THIS SPACE?
Will i be without a valid reason to endure all the hurt of regular life.... I'll be invalid and I'm scared.
1 comment:
Just found your blog and just wanted to say that there is always something to blog about...obsessive love has its run but so many other things im sure can enter the race.
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