Global epidemic of vacant men - No cures, no excuses

Using American stats....

84% of single custodial parents are mothers...

24 million children living without their biological father

1.35 million out-of-wedlock births

40% of children living without their biological fathers have NOT seen their fathers in the last 12 months

66% of black children do not live with their biological fathers, 27% white children, 33% Hispanic children...

White mothers = 27% out of wedlock, 43% Hispanic women out of wedlock, 70% black women had children out of wedlock (2000)

Studies suggest that boys might be more adversely affected by divorce than girls

Studies suggest that children with stepfathers are three times more likely to be abused

The fathers of over 1 million children are in prison

Black children are 9 times more likely to have a parent incarcerated than white children.

Black men cheat, lie, commit more crimes, with more violence than other men, stats suggest. Black men also more than often abdicate their thrones, leaving kingdoms, children and mothers, wifes and girlfriends to fend for themselves. Why? "Because they can" Act like a lady, think like a man. "Because they're Just Not That Into You?" Because they never had fathers, because they were never taught to cry, because they are emotionally retarded, because, because, because....

I've decided that the first mistake is looking for an explanation. Explanations give room for understanding and causes and solutions and worst of all excuses. There is no excuse. Black men come out of the same homes as successful black women. Same racist world, with the same abusive or vacant father or overworked mother or orphanage, same dreams of wealth, of one day leaving the ghetto or achieving more than their middle class upbringing, of one day having a family and support system of their own....

Or maybe thats the mistake.... Black men don't dream in fairy tales? Money is their only God and pursuing that dol$ar sign is their only means of Survival, whether its legal or illegal, hurtful or irresponsible is their only concern. $ is numbers. $ is counting. You either have some or your don't. Clean, no complications. This is what it costs, this is what it will take, this is what you'll have left. No mess, no fuss.

new thought: The inability to receive love.

Why? Big boys don't cry. You're a man. Be a man. Man = Strength. Not sissies. Not cry babies. Don't kiss your mother when other little boys can see you, can tease you. The inability to receive love. So much, that when men get love - they must destroy it - with crime, with cheating, with lies, with vacancy, with violence, with jealousy, with false accusations... The inability to understand love, so much so they are overwhelmed with their own imagined expectations that come with love - from a child, a wife, a girlfriend, a mother. Messy messy complicated love - love that reprimands, caresses, admires, then cries for men. Yes another theory to excuse... if only men understood that women don't understand love either.

Newer excuse: Let's blame society and hormones for their demise. More excuses... but then you come across one, with the same society, same hormones, same situation... and he needs no excuses. He's responsible, and honest, on the right side of the law, not jealous, not accusing, just being...

and then what? What about the rest of them?

1) Black fathers are free spirits?

2) Black fathers are irresponsible?

3) Black fathers are indifferent?

4) Black fathers are culturally excused from most responsibilities?

5) Black fathers are a product of the media reflecting them in a bad light?

6) Culturally, black fathers only responsibility is to provide financially

7) Black fathers inability to secure fruitful means of income is what drives them to abandon homes/children?

8) Global racist injustice of the past has placed black men in a perpetual state of unemployment due to the lack of good education

9) Black men are unable to receive love.