No new messages

I've been here before... I've been here so many times, it's ridiculous. I'm sitting here. I'm checking my phone every two minutes as if it's a pregnant woman whose water is just about to break. Nothing. No water, no messages... no excitement?

Perhaps that's why I put myself in this position over and over again. Excitement? Is my life that lacking in all the necessary drama? I thought I hated drama. I do hate drama. It's not excitement. I like my life.

What it really is - is weakness and unfailing trust in you. No matter how many times you disappoint me, I inexplicably believe, that the next time round, you won't. That's not entirely true either. Part of me, from experience and just from knowing you, knows that you won't turn up when you say you will.

I'm divided in thirds. Part of me loves that you're fiercely independent and won't work to anyone's rhythm. Another part of me, completely empathises with the good intentions I know you have, the wanting-to-be-there-but-can't, knowing that I on occasion, fall short for some, if not most of my friends. The last third of me is livid that you can treat me like this and livid that I let you.

I can live with and love the fact that you might start a million projects and never complete any of them. I just can't live with the possibility that I might be a project...

Still no new messages.
I'm a project.