Something real: Confronting Fear and Manning Up

Rejection sucks.
I try to cover up the little piece of hope that lurks in the far left corner of my mind. I cover it up with negative thoughts, negative words, secretly hoping, praying, desperately wanting to be wrong, hoping I'll be pleasantly surprised. And then I wonder... have I just ruined any chance of hope I had? with my negativity? with my lack of confidence? Determining my own fate by throwing hateful words into the atmosphere and then walking straight into the brick wall of failure I've created with those words.

Here's the truth. I hate my job. I need a new one. I'm qualified, I think intelligent and diligent and worthy of a new one. A good new one where I won't be abused. What should I do? I apply. I hear nothing. I apply again. I hear something. I interview. I hear nothing. I interview again. I hear nothing.

The world is changing, has changed. We have good old "Rich Dad, Poor Dad" (Robert Kiyosaki and Sharon Lechter) book to explain the importance of financial independence. Though, perhaps we shouldn't take their word for it, seeing as they are heavily criticised for writing a book of nonsense and then ended up suing each other. But I will take this piece of advice from them, because I think my experience has proved this theory true:

It's not good enough to have one degree, another one on top, and working towards the next. You have to network, you have to get out there, you have to develop an entrepreneurial spirit. And all these things we now HAVE to do to survive amongst the fittest pretty much sum up my worst fear. So... either stay in long suffering employment, with increasingly longer and longer days, with no opportunities for progression or development or benefits or medical aid that has proven fairly insecure in terms of permanency/guaranteed income but somehow despite all this feels safe and familiar?? Or do I just man the **** up to get what I really want out of a job, which is not a job, but a fulfilling career and passion?



Funny how knowing the answer isn't the hard part. I know... It's speaking it into existence.