My Dream Job: Spamers Dot Com?

How do you earn yourself a career in Spam email messaging? I'm only wondering as it sounds like a magnificent job... As long as you have a computer and a reliable internet connection, you could probably work from home.

Perhaps you have a target number of emails to send out in a day or maybe you spend the day perfecting that one spam email that's going to attract one unhappy, unlucky, vulnerable or gullible reader.

I imagine you have a colourful array of clients - pharmaceuticals with their latest in "penis enlargement drugs" or "natural breast augmentation" devices. These are things that people really really want. Porn sites must pay a pretty penny for the right words to entice the horn dogs onto their sites. And what about the state of Nigeria? Excuse the stereotype, but the art of writing a personal tragedy so deep so as to reduce someone to tears... and to reduce them to the madness that assists them in filling in that form with their bank details. What about the rich opposition official, who needs assistance getting his money out of the country, away from the oppressive autocrat. Online Casinos, Russian Brides, African Witchdoctors with cures for impotency... or have they not quite reached their cyber potential? King Jackpot, UK Lotto, free trips to Disneyland... (no one ever reads the terms and conditions that add service fees, flight fees, fees fees and more fees).

I'm not sure my conscience would allow me to scam people... but I could be a copywriter for Match.com, couldn't I? Where do they advertise jobs like that? This morning, I got the best spam email ever - only because it felt endearing and "real" in a ROMCOM movie sort of way. It was from "CHANDRA".... entitled "Seeking My King". If I were a king, single, perhaps a little lonely/desperate... Chandra would have had me at hello.:

I am someone's perfect girl.
I hoard books. I read news all the time. I subscribe to several magazines and newspapers, not because I have time to read all of them, but because I like to think I do.
I'm a self-described coffee and cupcake addict.
I'm not an alcoholic, but I do love good beer, good wine and a good time.
I go to plays and musicals because I love them. I dance because it's fun. I sing because that's just what I do.
I kind of hate modern art (something my friends like to poke at when they bring me to various museums).
I overanalyze Lost. I sing along to Glee. I wish I worked at the Buy More.
I'm a nerd, in the "Star Wars is awesome, Star Trek is too, and I think I'd like Battlestar Galactica if I ever got around to watching it" way. I Love Harry Potter. No, seriously. Love. Capital "L." I'm probably the biggest sap you'll ever meet.
I find kids and babies adorable. I don't want my own any time soon, but I do want them.
I like pretty things. Shoes. Photographs. Pieces of furniture. I don't like cats because I'm allergic, but I can't wait for the day that I can get a puppy.
I'm living the dream when it comes to my career, but even I know that there's something more I need to strive for. I just have to figure out what that is.
I love baseball and college football, but fair warning, I'm didn't grow up on the East Coast, so I probably don't like your team(s).
I'm not hot. Pretty, sure. Cute, yes. Hot, not so much. And I'm OK with that.


This is so much more than a can filled with pork bits. Wouldn't you agree?