I Bus Therefore I Am

Bus people, a standard definition: all kinds of crazies who insist on chatting incessantly, usually found on, around or near public transport.

Bus people, a revised definition: people who are completely unself-aware/unnecessarily callous and as a result often appear retarded or ignorant. Usually found on public transportation, but the definition can extend to other locations such as: the mall where you desperately try to avoid eye contact with that one awkward kid from high school who's name escapes you or that cashier at the ice cream parlour who insists on flirting with you and your mother.

Bus people, a current definition: ME

I accept my fate. It's not for nothing that I am unstable. I have been chasing the cool for years now, and not in an n.e.r.d-lupe-fiasco-in-crowd kinda way. I've never caught the cool. I think about the number of times in a day where I run into something, or drop something, or hurt my self making SALAD??!!! (i.e. at least 5 times a day, daily) Not exactly a talent, kinda clumsy therefore: bus person

Further evidence:
Saying conveniently inappropriate things at severely inconvenient moments at a volume that wouldn't qualify as shouting but highly audible. The end result is often AWKWARD therefore: bus person

Even more evidence:
Falling in love everyday: usually with a virtual boy, an ex or a random hottie at work. I plan out the one club-like date, then the living together, then the marriage, then the fight, then the divorce. And by divorce time, I'm usually back in love with whoever I'm in love with in the real world - equally unhealthy therefore: bus person.

Even more than further evidence:
Recently discovered talent of kissing boys then running very fast away. Very crazy mixed signals therefore: bus person

My closing statement: Seriously believing I am one in the same as characters in books and films. Appropriation? Assimilation? Absurd? Bipolar therefore: bus person.


Today I saw my boss-lady's boobs while we drank tequila and planned our own reality show. One colleague tried to teach me his Paul Simon gumboot dance, while the other whacked my very unsuspecting arse sooo hard. Another lady sang Lion King tunes with me. We took photos of us all lounging on the couch. This is a regular occurrence at my work place. And yes, we all do work very hard, seriously, we do. But we're Bus People.

I really like travelling on the bus too.