It's not you, It's me (part 2)

The best part of my day, everyday: closing my bedroom door, turning the key, i'm locked in and everything else, is locked out. The excitement of finally being alone, being free to be alone, being alone with the only man who's ever truly loved me - My Mr. Louis Vuitton (my ipod)

But I don't actually like being alone. I hate it in fact. My heart has no capacity for alone and my mind, no tolerance. And so the fantasies begin.

I'm always the heroine, fair and just, kind and beautiful. All the other characters, borrowed from reality- at least in image, if not in personality, are longing for me, to be around me. But even in my fantasies, the reality prevails. Your rejection of me, and my incessant love of you. I always have something to prove: I'm worthy of you.

This is why it hasn't ended. For you, you like games, you test 1,2,3... but for me, I live in my head, and fell in love in my head, but this isn't you in my head. Have I arrived, can I finally be the one to say... It's not you, it's really me?